This is such an important question and one that, unfortunately, many parents do not ask. They may think it will come naturally or that when the time is right (later, much later), they will explain the birds and bees and be done with it.

Meanwhile, as parents are waiting for the right time or the right words, the kids are getting bombarded with messages about sex from all quarters: television, pop music, friends, print media, movies and the Internet. If these are their main sources of information, your children may come to an understanding about sex that is inaccurate and based on values other than your own.

Lois Salisbury, president of Children Now, says you cannot wait for your kids to ask. They probably want to know, but may be afraid or uncomfortable to initiate the conversation. She says the best way for parents to establish open lines of communication is to start early and talk often. The way to start is by exploring your own ideas and values on the topic of sex! and figuring out what it is you want to communicate to your children.

I know it can be very difficult for some parents to broach this subject. Once you break the ice, it gets easier and Salisbury says it is immensely rewarding. "As kids move into their teenage years, the ones who are making the wisest decisions about sex and drugs and alcohol are the ones who also say 'I can still talk to my parents about these issues'," she says.

Of course, there are different ways to talk with children of different ages. You can find more specific information in the articles linked below from Children Now's Web site. While you are there, be sure to click on their resources page, which feature books, organizations and additional Web sites on the topic of talking with your kids...

Date Published: Oct. 6, 1999
Date Reviewed: Oct. 6, 1999

Nancy Snyderman, M.D., F.A.C.S